The Silver Spring Penguin

Here’s the honest dope: I have never been a fan of house music. The strident keyboard pounding, the tired beats, the parachute pants — that shit just has to go. It’s not art. It’s machismo-fueled chest thumping.

But if one mixes that chest thumping with a bad aftro, a sophomoric sex drive and no chance of ever getting laid, the impalatable house sound suddenly evolves into a symphonic masterpiece. That’s what New York rappers Team Facelift pull off without a hitch.

The crew — Machine, Fat Jew and Alden Pact — are straight up about their skirt chasing, though one won’t hear these gents refer to women as bitches or hoes. Instead, their slick, sometimes silly rhymes aim their libidoes at anything with a hole in it. Pathetic? Yes. Cathartic enough to give birth to great music? Hellz yeah.

The song and video to “You Gonna Want Me” (below) is a blast! The dudes rap of “tranny hunting” and “pussy prowling” to a jumping house beat, all while emcee Fat Jew rubs his meaty hands over his flabby bare chest. Take it too seriously, and you just might miss the point.

Then there’s “I Want To Have Your Baby”, which is either a disgusting display of mysogyny or a new feminist anthem. The dudes’ rhymes are pleas to carry a baby (in the womb, that is), a strange twist on the musical mating ritual. At the same time, the song’s video depicts bloodied women on tables, with the gents dining on their remains. It’s a good tune in a perverse way.

Get a taste of Team Facelift from the band’s website, then catch them live at Gallery Lounge (1115 East-West Hwy) on Friday (that’s today). The doors open at 10:00 p.m., so be ready to flash $10 and convincing ID.

Photos and video courtesy of Team Facelift.