The Silver Spring Penguin

The Secret Service has completed its threat assessment of The Penguin staff, and there’s good news: We’re mostly clean! Our reporters have never been convicted of any felonies. The guys in the mailroom commit only crimes against nature, nothing on the books. And The Penguin intern is just too cute and furry to deny.

Therefore, as Penguin editor, I declare the rump shaking of this extended weekend on like Donkey Kong! Hit it!

Throughout the weekend

Participating restaurants and merchants throw some good Inauguration deals at downtown Silver Spring, including a couple of parties. For more info, click here.

Friday

8:00 p.m. Silver Spring’s very own Jonny Grave blasts some dirrrrty-ass ghee-tahr blues at the Pyramid Atlantic Arts Center (8320 Georgia Ave). Seven bucks gets you through the door.

8:00 p.m. The Silver Spring Stage (10145 Colesville Rd) rolls out George Bernard Shaw’s comedy “Arms and The Man”. Tickets are $18 each ($15 for students and seniors).

8:00 p.m. The Stroyka Theatre Company does the dark comedy “The House of Yes”at the Round House Theater (8641 Colesville Rd). Tickets are $20 each ($15 for students and seniors).

10:00 p.m. Event producer 88 blasts Loda, a music and multimedia event. Hit it at Gallery Lounge (1115 East-West Hwy) with $10 and convincing ID for my man Eddie at the door.

Saturday

All day. The Buy Local Silver Spring initiative toasts the 44th presidential inauguration at Kefa Cafe (963 Bonifant St). Slap some Obama, USA, or Silver Spring shit on your clothing and score a 16-oz coffee with a muffin for $4.44 (or 44 cents off whatever rocks your world).

The Silver Spring Penguin is the official online-media partner of the Buy Local Silver Spring initiative.

12:00 p.m. The Mayorga Coffee Factory (8040 Georgia Ave) hosts an artists market until 5:00 p.m. Score some unique jewlery for the inaugural ball, or get hooked up with a fly painting for your broke-down crib. There’s no cover for this market.

1:30 p.m. The ice rink at Wheaton Regional Park (11717 Orebaugh Ave) hits skate virgins with a free hour-long lesson, followed by two hours of practice. While the lesson is free, there’s a $6.25 cover. Don’t sweat it, though — that price covers the rental skates.

8:00 p.m. The Silver Spring Stage (10145 Colesville Rd) rolls out George Bernard Shaw’s comedy “Arms and The Man”. Tickets are $18 each ($15 for students and seniors).

8:00 p.m. The Stroyka Theatre Company does the dark comedy “The House of Yes”at the Round House Theater (8641 Colesville Rd). Tickets are $20 each ($15 for students and seniors).

Sunday

2:00 p.m. The Silver Spring Stage (10145 Colesville Rd) rolls out George Bernard Shaw’s comedy “Arms and The Man”. Tickets are $18 each ($15 for students and seniors).

2:30 p.m. The free concert to end all free concerts rocks the Lincoln Memorial. Bundle up and groove to Beyonce, The Boss and my girl, Mary J Freakin’ Blige. Just leave the thermos, backpack and firearms at home. For more info, click here.

Don’t like the cold? Catch this gig on HBO for free — the premium cable company blasts this joint for free to anyone with cable or a satellite dish.

3:00 p.m. The Stroyka Theatre Company does the dark comedy “The House of Yes”at the Round House Theater (8641 Colesville Rd). Buy one $20 ticket to this performance ($15 for students and seniors), and your date gets in for free.

Photo courtesy of Flickr user Liz~Colorado.