The Silver Spring Penguin

Dear Penguin

I’ve nearly run over the same guy four different times as he walked down the middle of Georgia Avenue. He may have been drunk, and he was definitely weaving his way along (not across) lanes of traffic.

At the time, I wondered if it would be appropriate to call 911 to alert the police, for the man’s safety and for those of drivers on the road. What do the police recommend? If it was the Beltway, I’d call for sure. But what if the pedestrian was just some jerk jaywalking down Georgia?

Farrah’s Angel

Dear Farrah’s Angel

Thanks for your excellent question. This drunk jaywalker weaving through Georgia Avenue traffic sounds like the long-lost Penguin intern. We sent him on a coffee run last summer and haven’t seen him since. He’s actually developed cult status in The Penguin newsroom, sort of a Sasquatch of Silver Spring.

But is his staggering ass worth the call to 911? Personally, I would call animal control and maybe TMZ, but what do I know? So I bounced your question to Sgt Tom Harmon, who keeps cars and peds in check for the PD’s third district.

His advice: Don’t bother. By the time you reach for your cell phone, and long before squad cars respond to your call, that jaywalker will likely be on his way. Besides, most jaywalkers in downtown Silver Spring manage to do their thang safely and without incident, Harmon said.

But if this chronic jaywalker appears drunk or strung out, then a call to the station house could help, Harmon said. The PD might not rush to the scene, but at least officers (who often are familiar with the neighborhood’s characters) can educate them of the perils of dodging through traffic.

Drive safely, and honk if you spot our intern.

Sincerely,

Jennifer Deseo
Editor, The Silver Spring Penguin

Lead photo courtesy of Flickr user Boolean Split.