Every freakin’ day is Halloween at Piratz Tavern, where servers dress as pirates, and a dive bar dresses as Chuck E. Cheese.
The restaurant’s ambiguous role as both local watering hole and kiddie playhouse is a bizarre dichotomy. Blame the county, which insists that eateries earn at least half their revenue from the sale of food over booze.
So what’s a hole in the wall with a dark bar, relaxing patio and busty wenches busing mugs of beer to do? Suffer the indignation of being a mediocre restaurant at best, when its bar food is actually decent.
The kitchen aims high but misses completely with its shrimp Mozambique ($8). Tough, chewy rounds of sauteed shrimp drown in a tart soup of lemon and beer. Instead of accentuating the shrimp’s natural sweetness, the lemon-beer broth overpowers it completely. It’s a mess.
The smoked turkey legs ($10 for one, $15 for the set, top left) are equally tragic. Unlike the monstrous drumsticks sold outside the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disney World, the tavern’s tough, dry gams are only slightly larger that those of a chicken.
Like most Piratz entrees, the turkey legs arrive with a choice of sides: basmati rice, garlic mashed potatoes, scimitar fries or veggies. During one visit, the limp basmati rice had a floral taste indicative of spoilage. The veggies — a mix of zucchini, carrots and cauliflower — were mushy and had the tart signature of vinegar. (The garlic mashed potatoes were not sampled.)
On the other hand, the scimitar fries should be considered a major food group for bar hoppers everywhere. The thick, dense potato wedges are fried until crisp and caramelized on the outside, offering a sweet crunch with that booze-absorbing starch. It’s what bar food is all about.
The Caribbean BBQ sandwich ($7, bottom left) is also good grub. Moist pulled pork is slathered in a cumin-accented, tomato-sweetened barbecue sauce, then heaped onto a toasted Portuguese roll. It’s sloppy, indulgent and good, as all bar food should be.
The pirate ship decor is just enough to sell the theme without humiliating diners, and the quick servers address everyone as “matey”.
Steer clear of the rocky restaurant food, and stick with the reliable bar grub.
Piratz Tavern, 8402 Georgia Ave, Silver Spring, (301) 588-9001
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How dare you review Piratz?! Your taste buds have never been to culinary school! At least give the restaurant a little more time to get its act together! You must love chains! I hope you enjoy destroying Silver Spring! You support terrorism!!!1!ONE!
Feel free to delete this.
Dont delete something so informative.
The only incorrect item in the posting is the “quick servers” part.
It took me 45 mins to be served a warm Amstel Light. My first and last time there.
You’re right, most of the food is awful. Why can’t Silver Spring bring in a decent bar?
Um, Piratz has been around long enough to work out the bugs in service and food. Perhaps this review will help them.
I loved the idea that it was small and independent… I loved the idea that a bar was opening up down on georgia and might bring some foot traffic down that way. I went there once and will never go back. Similar experience to John…. servers were WAY more interested in pretending they were pirates than they were in providing timely service to their customers. EVERYTHING took FOREVER. Sort of an interesting concept, but just terribly operated. Like seriously, one of the worst customer service experiences i’ve had anywhere…. literally, we sat down and servers were being all sorts of “piratey playful” with each other, and pretending they were going to get into sword fights, etc.. etc… and I really don’t think they even noticed that customers had sat down… it was just friggin ridiculous, I’ll will absolutely never walk back into that place again… ever…. ohk, i;m done ranting
I agree service has been slow, but we’ve been there twice and Piratz did what we wanted it to do: provided a decent enough place to eat when we were stuck having to go out to dinner with friends and their little kids.
Rather than going to a mediocre joint like Macaroni Grill because such a business is “kid friendly,” Piratz is an option we can live with.
Besides, those potato wedges are great, and the waitstaff is always willing to sing some sea chanteys to entertain the young’uns.
I went one night with my girlfriend and they’d combined the lunch and dinner menus. She got the Prego no Pao and I got Da Real Deal Shrimp. We also sampled the cod fritters, which were quite tasty. Like Paul and John though, the slowest, worst service I’ve ever had. The pirate mate serving us disappeared for a good 40 minutes before bringing the check, and this was when I was parkd at a meter. Really the first time I’ve contemplated skipping on a check. Food is ok but not worth all that.
To be honest, you’ll enjoy this place alot more if you take it as a bar first, resturant second. At nighttime the place is a splendid local place and that grog packs a mean kick.
I trust Jenn. I take it that she’s from NY, NY, the city that never sleeps, and when you don’t sleep, you eat.
I stick to the other side of Georgia for the tater-tots and excellent service at Quarry House…mmmmm tots…
I’ve been to Piratz about ten times–mostly because I am interested in supporting local entrepreneurs and so forth–less so because I am a real live pirate myself.
I say, if you eat meat, just stick with the buffalo burgers (bar food as Jenn suggests)–they have a very clean taste and the bread they’re served on is tasty and different, too. Order your burger medium well to make sure it’s not to rare for ya. The scimitar fries are a pretty dependable side there–I’m not much of a fry eater, but these do the trick.
The service is slow, and the special drinks (i.e. the delicious Black Strap Betty) are not cheap… but come on, you can’t go to the Quarry House all the time to get a dose of rowdiness and bawdiness!
What is with the ship-babe with boobs out and nipple tassels on at the back of their building? I’m hoping they rethink that artwork and maybe edit on a flowing scarf or tastefully arranged piece of seaweed strewn over her torso – the tassels are just plain tacky and odd.
I was totally excited for Piratz Tavern before it opened. I went to their website and made plans to eat their with a group of friends as soon as it opened. High drink costs will keep me from drinking there regularly, and poor vegetarian selection will keep me from eating there. I got some mixed-rice plate that was small and dry and about $11.
That said, I knew they might still be figuring stuff out, so I was hoping things would improve and I could go back.
This review unfortunately reconfirms my initial impression. Does anyone feel that there have been improvements in food quality, vegetarian selection, or overall cost? I echo the sentiment that if I want cheap drinks I’ll go to QH and if I want delicious food I’ll go to Mandalay, but Piratz has so much potential…
Joel, you asked about Piratz vegetarian fare. I went there shortly after it opened, went there last year, and went there last month, and the veggie fare is, unfortunately, the same. They still offer the same overpriced, so-so curry dish. The drinks are still expensive, though the grog gives you your bang for the buck.
The potato wedges are still excellent, though, and the costumed freaks will still happily expound upon pirate lore and sing you a chanty or two.
So yes, this place definitely does not hit its potential, but I’ve never left feeling sorry for having gone there.
Piratz is comically horrible: the food is thawed from Costco rather than prepared; the service is laughably absent minded; the decor is macabre. You’ll find no buried treasure on this Jolly Rodger; it’s sinking from its own ineptitude.
Our experience with Piratz Tavern was definitely in the positive category. Service was good, food interesting and very good. We loved to relaxed, genuinely friendly ambience, and particulary the patio on a warm day. Some restaurants have the capacity to “talk to you” and this was one of them. We have been steady customers for the past year and intend to continue.
Filet on a stone is excellent. The bar area is very dark and intimate with good music late. It reminds me of an Amsterdam coffee shop. Great place to go for drinks especially when it’s warm but the service needs to improve.
ugh, Piratz. I will gladly go to Quarry House all the time before I go back to Piratz. The atmosphere is like Disney on crack. It would be amusing – campy even – except for the fact that the staff actually seems to buy into this concept VERY seriously. No camp at all. The food was not even marginal in my opinion and the service is ridiculously slow as others have pointed out. At least they got rid of that large vat of nasty pickled beans that tasted like feet that they used to serve in the bar as a “snack”.
I just tried the joint for the first time tonight.. The entries above are from 2007 and I am sorry to report that Piratz still has not gotten its act together. Bad service, Bad food. I am sorry to say this because I would love to see all local restaurants in Silver Spring do well. This one, however, does no justice for the area.
I’ve been there 4 times now, and yes, the service can be a bit slow sometimes but they’re not just servers, they’re entertainers. If you want fast service and commonly available food, go to McDs. If you want fun, unique food like steak on a stone, great drinks, and a party every time, go to Piratz. Like the wise man said: if you’re bored then you’re boring. It’s all in the attitude…